put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
