Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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