Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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