So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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