Porn is love you can see.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
