Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
