dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
