Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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