my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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