in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
