I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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