You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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