we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
