You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
