clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
