I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
