I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
