I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
