The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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