happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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