I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I supernannyed him into submission
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
