When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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