I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize