Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
