apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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