Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
