What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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