I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
