bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
