Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
