make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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