my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
