Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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