Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
