Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
