Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
