my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
