how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
