No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
