I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
