I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
