think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
