Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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