Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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