You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
