you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i think i just lost a toe
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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