"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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