i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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