Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
