don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
