I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize