I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize