Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
