i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's official drugs can't kill me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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