Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
