I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
