I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
