Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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