eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
