Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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