yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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